Living a Life of Compassion and Empathy

6/8/2025

1 Peter 3:8: “Be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

We continue looking at some of the most difficult lessons we face as spiritual beings indwelling human bodies. Or put another way, finding the balance between our spiritual and physical nature. This week I want to look at empathy and compassion.

Developing empathy and compassion presents a befuddling paradox of the human condition: they are arguably the most challenging emotional skills to cultivate, yet they are fundamental to our individual and collective well-being. This difficulty stems from a complicated interplay of our evolutionary wiring, cognitive biases, and the very structure of modern societies. However, the immense benefits they unlock for personal fulfillment, social harmony, and ethical progress make their development the most vital lesson we can learn.

Christ’s command to love each other is born of empathy and compassion. He lived these emotions, demonstrating them in nearly every encounter, every miracle, every parable. Compassion involves feeling for others’ hardships and actively wanting to alleviate their suffering, while empathy is the ability to understand and share another’s emotions. Together, they form the heart of humanity and are at the core of Christ’s teachings.

The Dalai Lama wrote: “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

We know we should develop compassion and empathy, but there are some difficulties that we must become aware of and manage. First, our evolutionary heritage instills an “us versus them” mindset. Within us is a strong survival instinct, prioritizing self-interest and our group-interest over all others. Although this was essential at one time in our history, fending off competing tribes, this mentality has become a liability in today’s diverse world.

Even though our brains are wired to be more receptive to the joy and pain of those who are similar to us in appearance, background, and belief, this is the very lesson that Christ taught through the story of The Good Samaritan. All of us, no matter what we think, or believe, are beloved children of God. We are expected to release our small-mindedness and open our hearts and minds to Spirit.

We begin this difficult task by becoming aware of our thoughts and biases. If we do not believe a person or group of people are worthy of God’s love, we have an issue with bias. I mentioned cognitive biases last week, or mental traps that can ensnare us, and are lies that our egos feed us.

One is called the Fundamental Attribution Error. This false thinking leads us to attribute others’ misfortunes to their character flaws while blaming our own on external circumstances. This makes it difficult to feel empathy for someone’s struggles when we subconsciously believe they brought it upon themselves.   

Also, there is a bias called the Spotlight Effect, which is a tendency to overestimate how much others notice our appearance or behavior, which can keep us self-absorbed and less attuned to the emotional states of those around us. We are thinking so much about ourselves that we do not notice anyone around us.

Another deterrent to compassion and empathy if we are not aware, is the fast pace of life and our need for constant connectivity. The sheer volume of information and social interactions, often superficial and via screens, can lead to emotional overload and a numbing to suffering. We are bombarded with news of tragedies from around the world, and to protect ourselves from being perpetually overwhelmed, we may unconsciously reduce our empathetic responses.

We must also look at our own upbringing. Trauma, neglect, or an environment that discouraged emotional expression can severely stunt the development of empathy and compassion. Without having our own emotional needs met, it becomes exceedingly difficult to recognize and respond to the needs of others.

Despite these formidable challenges, the cultivation of empathy and compassion remains the most critical lesson for humanity for a multitude of reasons, impacting everything from our personal health to the stability of our societies.

The Bible defines compassion as a deep sense of love, mercy, and kindness—especially toward those who are suffering or in need. It is not mere sentiment; it is love in action. Colossians 3:12 urges us: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

To "clothe ourself" means to make compassion visible in every interaction. It is not an accessory that we change from day to day. It becomes part of our spiritual wardrobe, something we intentionally put on each day.

To find a model of compassion and empathy, we have only to look to Jesus’s life. In Matthew 9:36, we read: “But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.”

Jesus’ compassion was not passive. He saw people’s struggles, entered into their pain, and acted to bring healing and hope. In Luke 13:10-12 we read: On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” When he healed the woman, Jesus showed not only compassion but deep empathy; he recognized how long and difficult her suffering had been, and he responded personally and powerfully.

Empathy is the ability to enter another’s experiences – to rejoice with their joys and weep with their sorrows. Romans 12:15 commands us: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” This is more than a suggestion; it is a blueprint for spirit-filled community. When we share in each other’s joys and sorrows, we build unity, trust, and love. We reflect the very heart of Christ, who wept with Mary and Martha at Lazarus’s tomb and celebrated with friends at a wedding feast.

How do we live out this calling? The Bible gives us practical steps:

Be Present: Like Job’s friends who sat in silence with him during his suffering, sometimes our greatest gift is our presence.

Listen Deeply: Pay attention not just to words but to feelings. Ask, “What is this person experiencing?” and “How can I show them they are valued?”

Act in Kindness: Offer tangible help, a listening ear, a forgiving heart. Ephesians 4:32 tells us: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”       

Extend Mercy to All: Luke 6:36 calls us, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Compassion is not selective; it is for everyone, just as God’s mercy is for all.

Serving and Supporting Others: Compassionate living involves serving others—helping the vulnerable, volunteering, or simply offering encouragement and understanding. Jesus’ example of healing the sick and feeding the hungry demonstrates that compassion often requires practical, sacrificial action.

Here are some other ways to support someone who is hurting:

Avoid Minimizing or Judging: Refrain from saying things like “It’s not that bad,” “You’ll get over it,” or “Others have it worse.” These can make someone feel misunderstood or dismissed.

Offer Practical Help: Ask if there’s anything you can do to support them, like running errands, bringing a meal, or simply sitting with them in silence.

Respect Their Pace: Let them decide when and how much they want to talk. Sometimes, just knowing we are available is enough.

Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge and affirm what they are going through. Phrases like “That sounds really tough,” “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way,” or “It must be rough” help them feel seen and understood.

Express Ongoing Support: Remind them, “You’re not alone,” “I care about you,” or “I’m here for you, whenever you need me.”

When we live with compassion and empathy, we become agents of God’s love in a hurting world. It is my prayer that we clothe ourselves with compassion every day. Let us be a people who participate in the joys and sorrows of others, who act with kindness and mercy, and who reflect the heart of God’s compassion and empathy in all we do. In doing so, we fulfill Christ’s command to love each other.